A Beautiful Moment.
In a nutshell, the overarching theme of my job is to help people figure out what they want/need to say, and help them say it in the most meaningful and impactful way.
As with any type of personal development, when you look under the hood there are a million+1 reasons why communicating thoughtfully and effectively is difficult to those for whom it is difficult.
And, as with any type of personal development, many, many of those million+1 reasons are rooted in an old, old, deep, deep fear of ‘not being good enough’.
In one of my meetings today, the woman said more than once: “I need to prove myself to the people I work with.” This woman has a PhD along with a 20+ year history as an expert in her field, and she feels afraid that she doesn’t know enough. That she’s not smart enough. That she hasn’t achieved enough. That everyone is going to somehow find out she’s a fraud and oust her from society.
Everything in her life has been about checking the right boxes. Go to the right school. Get an advanced degree. Work at this perfect company. Add this title to the resume.
Today, about halfway through our meeting, something finally clicked. I told her: “Your achievements and accomplishments are not who you are. They are the byproduct of who you are. They are the results of you being you. So, setting aside your achievements for the moment, what do you like about yourself?”
“Well, I like that I’ve done this, and that, and this.”
“I hear you, and all that is wonderful. And what do you like about YOU?”
She paused…blinked a few times…and replied: “I’ve only ever seen myself through my achievements and accomplishments. I’ve never really looked at myself/worth as who I am as a human being.”
And that’s where the real work, and magic, and beauty began. My heart grew 3 sizes.
There is, of course, so much more to the story of this woman’s journey, but this was the moment when everything changed. And, she discovered many things she likes about herself. And this is where she will find her voice. And this is where she will realize that she doesn’t have to prove a damn thing to anyone in order to show up at a meeting with her colleagues and share her insights in an impactful way.
This was a wonderful moment.
#personaldevelopment #gratitude #ownyourvoice #unlockyourinnervoice #babystepsbigchanges #youaregoodenough #selflove
